Rare social event tonight

Governor Togiola Tulafono has invited me to a Ball tonight at the Auditorium to honor the Nurses of American Samoa. Although I am not at my best nor most comfortable in these situations I attend to represent the VA. For me, it is more fun to remember having gone to a Ball, than to actually be at the Ball. I will wear a dress and sandals. I will brush my beard. Too much of the hair on my head has fallen out to require any brushing. My shirt will display my VA name tag. People will try to speak with me all night in Samoan over the music which will be too loud. I will smile and nod, understanding little. The Samoans will be polite, but, eventually they will go away convinced that I must be as dumb as a post.

These are phrases that rednecks cannot say...

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of 'Hee Haw' that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.

How the exotic becomes ordinary.

Hearing the Samoan language has become familiar, although I do not yet understand what is being said. I anticipate the taste of Samoan food, although I prefer Creole or Cajun cuisine. The balmy weather, the prehistoric tree ferns, the many colors of the Pacific Ocean, the constant sentinel of the mountains all give American Samoa an ancient, even timeless appeal. Modernity seems out of place here. Every airplane's arrival draws attention. Yesterday, my golf instructor took off at a trot when he saw a certain DeHavilland Otter fly over the Ili'ili Golf Course. He shouted back over his shoulder that he had a package to pick up at the airport as he disappeared around the clubhouse. The airplane was returning from one of those more or less regular flights from Apia, Western Samoa. He was back in 20 minutes! Exactly one bucket of practice balls later, the ball drew a perfect arc across the sky as it shanked its way towards the blue Pacific...

PagoDoc
(writing from Paradise Lite)

51 on the front nine

This Monday finds me still pressing for my elusive goal of breaking 50 shots for 9 holes. I was close this weekend, Saturday AM. I was rained out Sunday.

Pago Doc